Fearless Warrior In A Picket Fence

mood: indescribable

Wow.  What a weekend.  It started out horrible.  When I’d made that post about being afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make it to Felicia’s wedding I had another post but I didn’t want to put it up because I didn’t want to take away from the severity of that problem.  The night before, my hammies had been in their first serious fight.  Botts came out with several wounds where as Bertie only had two, which I only found by searching for them.  Botts spent the night in a box because I’ve always read that you are supposed to let the hamsters fight but once you see blood you need to separate them immediately. 

Well, since then I’d been watching them closely and letting them hang out as long as they didn’t fight but at night when they woke me up with their incessant squeaking I’d put one of them in the box.  I’d been doing this for two weeks and it seemed to help.  They fought less because they had time alone. 

Saturday, I went to put Bertie back in the main cage and found that her head was stuck in an opening near the top.  Her eyes were open and I remember thinking that I better be gentle and not scare her.  She was cold and stiff.  I’ve no idea how she got up that high but she managed to get her head through and strangled herself.  You’re allowed to have favorite pets and she was mine.  She responded to my voice, she liked to just chill in my hand, and she actually liked me.  Botts avoids me at all costs.  I cried.  A lot.  I felt so guilty (I was also hormoning so it didn’t help).  I just couldn’t get the image of her hanging like that out of my mind.  It was my fault.  A box is no place for a hamster.  I couldn’t even stay home and mope, which is a good thing I suppose. 

So we went non-stop that day looking for jewelry and make up and something to do with my hair.  Mom got a mani-pedi and then we went over to Felicia’s where we made enough food for the whole wedding and mom altered Feda’s dress.  Oh and I met Matt (the groom) for the first time.  He looks a lot like my cousin.  We didn’t get home until about midnight but we got a lot done.   

A wrap up of Sunday should be coming soon. 

It’s finally starting to feel like a wedding.  I got my hair cut.  I had my nails put on and my toenails painted.  I got my dress.  I just need shoes, some jewelry and something to do with my hair. 

            Felicia’s attitude is a little unsettling.  This whole process has just rubbed her wrong and she has this whole ‘I wish the whole thing were just over with’ attitude.  And she is already feuding with the in-laws-to-be. 

            Now I have to think about writing a MOH speech.  I keep thinking that I have more time.  But tomorrow is my last day to do anything. 

            I feel slightly bad that there is all this focus on Feda’s wedding that I’ve nearly forgotten about Anna’s confirmation.    I don’t even have a gift for her. 

            Schools out and for the first time ever my mom threatened to kick me out.  She was under so much stress trying to prepare for the attorney’s meeting (we’re filing bankruptcy)  and she said if I didn’t get a job that I was “outta here”.  I was doing nothing but trying to help her… I hadn’t even said anything (I felt silence was my best defense in such trubulent times).  Oh well.  I do need a job. 

mood: touched

OH EM GEE!!! Not only do I get to go to Felicia’s wedding but…..

I’m gonna be MAID OF HONOR!! She’d already asked one of her friends from high school but she took it back last night because they had been growing apart for a while.  She asked me today when she came over. 

We went out to dinner and we discussed all things wedding related.  It’s very rushed.  Two weeks.  I have to get an out fit… black skirt and turquoise top so I can match the best man and Greg, who is giving the bride away.  We are getting mani/pedis.  I have to do something with my hair because it looks like crap lately.  Wax the brows for sure.  Me and Feda may go barefooted… heels + sand + our lack of balance= a disaster   unless we can find some wicked cute flats. 

It’s going to be very small.  At Sand Key Park and the reception will be at the Groom’s parent’s house.  Three days later they are off to Jacksonville to find an apartment. 

I’m so excited!! I still can’t believe she’s getting married.  She got her GED early so we don’t have to worry about her dropping out.       

It’s all so very exciting.

This is the girl that I’ve known since 3^rd grade.  We’ve been planning our weddings since like 5^th grade.  All I can do is be her friend and leave it in God’s hands.  I can only pray that she will be happy.   

mood: excited

Ok so guess what!  I met a Nerdfighter today!

That may sound weird because 1) I am a Nerdfighter and 2) I know other people who are Nerdfighters.  What makes this so awesome is that I met him in real life… and I didn’t know him previously! 

I was at a confirmation retreat (did I tell you I was picked as a Confirmation sponsor?  How freaking awesome is that?)  and they had a band there to play for us.  My confirmation buddy was running late so I was watching the band do their sound check when my eyes fell on one of the amps…. It said “Don’t Forget To Be Awesome”

This was one of the few times where my mouth literally fell open.  Could it be?  Could there be a Nerdfighter in this band?  Or even better - was the whole band comprised of NF’s?  I swore to my self I’d ask them even though I am shy by nature and shy people don’t just walk up to a group of people and ask if they just so happened to be nerds. 

I was helping with the scavenger hunt, standing at my appointed station waiting for groups of teenagers to come a chug a bottle of water so they could get a clue from me, when I see one of the band members coming over (I guess they were sort of playing in the hunt too).  I said “I have to ask:  is some one from your band a Nerdfighter?”  Turns out he was.  It was his amp that had DFTBA on it.  I was very excited/happy to meet an NF in real life.  I think he was pretty happy with the turn of events as well. 

His band was really good too.  I was sad that the crowd didn’t really get into it.  I guess the young teens didn’t want to rock out at church while next to their confirmation sponsors and religion teachers) my excuse is that I am completely devoid of rhythm.  I did clap and sing along, though.

Then I helped out at my aunt’s garage sale.  I had only dressed for the retreat and it was distractingly hot.  I got a sun burn too (I’d taken my blouse off and had been trouncing around in my under-tanktop)    

mood: lazy

This is the third time I’ve attempted to do this.  I think I’ve figured out what my deal is:  I’m unmotivated, which is my fancy way of saying ‘I don’t feel like it’.  I have no motivation to do just aboiut anything.  I know I need to get my life together and I know what it would require yet I somehow avoid doing any of it.  I’m supposed to be the mature, responsible one yet I am the last to drive, last to get a car, last to get a job. 

            And I think the first step would be to get a car.

A car = me driving = a job = mo’ money

                                         = a better social life

                                         = more motivation

                                                                                      = My life in order

Yet none of this is getting done.  Why?  Because I have commitment issues.  I don’t want to invest so much money (that I don’t have) in something that may or may not work and that I will have to pay insurance for with money I don’t have.   

See there is some logic in my failure.  

oy... I have a headache.  I think it may be a caffeine headache.  I accidentally spilled pepper in the creamer (it fell out of the cabinet) so I’m afraid to try it.  I think the strength of the flavor of coffee may cover it but who knows.

Anyone have a car they want to give me?  :P

Wow my thoughts are scrabbled today… I think I’ll go try some pepper coffee. 

mood: disappointed

To Do list:

Write Anna

Email Robert

Write out thank you card for the Tobin’s

Do Speech Homework

Do Composition homework.  

Yeah yeah, I know this is not a proper update(but its better than nothing). And I know all too well that I have failed in my project.  Discussion of my lameness to follow. 

Hmmm I am thinking that my anatomy class is a study of people in more than one way

I have come to the conclusion that there are four types of people in any given anatomy class

When presented a new concept:

                        Some openly look at the body part in question

                        Some glance around to see if their friends are looking and then join in

                        Some twitch as if they want to look, but don’t have the courage to

                        And some don’t look at all because they are geniuses and can visualize in their heads

Oh btw:  I just aced an Anatomy Lab test…. I may have been inventing words at one point but I caught all my mistakes.  

MAJOR DRAMA LLAMAS in the NF chat.  ((Yes, I realize I have no life.  But I can’t seem to fix that at the moment plus I like the NF chat, so whatever.))   We have decepticon invaders, spies, and sides being drawn…. Just because someone has a hissy-fit and leaves because they can’t get the power and attention they want I am personally attacked and blamed for it?  Pure crap.  Thank goodness for L , who rescued me and took me to the room the decent NFs were in. 

Shout out to L, WhiteOwl, and FirstofMany for hiding from the llamas with me.  You guys are now on my list of favorite NFs (you’re there too Chelsey J)

Fat Tuesday…. Another long day spent in the library spent betwixt two bouts of boring class.  Then we went to Olive Garden to celebrate Fat Tuesday.  Yummy! Waited for ages to get a seat and then we got stared at for playing paper football with the coasters they set out before the drinks came. Ahahaha

Wow my days have been boring of late.  I’ve had to catch up on six days of entries and there hasn’t been much going on.  Take today for instance:

Got up, went to school with Sara, had a boring class, went to the library and finally typed up the profile for my new RP character, had lunch, went to another boring class, got a ride home from Sara, chatted a bit, watched TV, went to bed.

Helped mom with a side job uber early in the morning while talking on the phone with Jessie about life in general.  Afterwards we went and shopped at the Kimberly Home Thrift Store.  This place is awesome.  It works like any other thrift store except all the proceeds go the Kimberyly Home, a place of aid for women and children in dire circumstances.  I was looking at these digital organizers but I think the batteries were dead ‘cus it wouldn’t turn on… and they wanted $40 for it 0.o  a little pricey for my tastes. 

            Then, we watched War of the Worlds at night.  It was suspenseful but not overly amazing.  It was very refreshing that the aliens were defeated by something other than the efforts of humans.

I hopped on the computer at 10:50 pm after the movie ended.  Within 15 minutes there was a dispute over what I like to call my ‘computer curfew’.  With the urging of a few friends I disputed it.  My arguments: 

-          It’s the weekend

-          I could stay up and watch TV/read but not be on the computer?

-          I’m not doing anything bad, just talking to friends.

I don’t know if my arguments helped at all.  I hope I’ve at least planted the seeds of logic. 

WHOOO HOOO!!1!!!11!!eleventyone!!!!  One Month!  Who wants to celebrate? (the only bad thing is now i actually have to keep count of my entries rather than just looking at the date)